Yes, that’s a very long title, and this will be a very long post as well. Long time no see, everyone. This post will be a bit about everything that has been happening lately, also some notes/assessment of how I’ve been learning languages, and what I should and should not do regarding them.
More under the cut.
My contract of working ended on the 30th of May, so yes, I am now unemployed. In Malay, we call it ‘menganggur’, and since there’s an ‘anggur’ word in it which mean ‘grapes’ (this is because of verb conjugations and such, but it doesn’t really mean grapes, btw), we call the unemployed as ‘tanam anggur’, which literally means, ‘planting grapes’. This is useless information, but that’s basically what I’m doing now. I’m planting grapes, haha… though not literally.
The other day, our university entrance results were out and everyone was bustling here and there, asking each other, “Where’d you get into?”. I was at work at that time, and the results were out a day after I turned 18, so I wasn’t that excited. I was more excited with the fact that I’m finally legal haha #ok. When I clicked on the results page on the web though, it says: “Sorry, but you are not listed in any of the available universities. Please re-apply for another intake.” I went quiet all of a sudden and all I wanted to do at that time was to curl up into a ball and roll myself home. But alas, I still have work at that time so after 6pm, after work, I went to meet my friend who offered to treat me for a meal as a late birthday gift. And turns out, both of us and some of our close friends didn’t get into any of the public universities. Actually, many other students didn’t get into any uni, and some others get courses that they’re not fond of. I don’t know how they would react to that. Well, it depends on the person, really.
I see it two ways though.
One; I’m sad, because my parents’ hope for their children to get into a public university has been crushed. I did re-apply for another intake and the results aren’t out yet, but I’m not confident that I would get into any this time as well. Even if I do, chances are, I might not be able to go if it’s too far from home and such. Public universities have better and affordable fees, that’s an important point. They’re also mostly prestigious and… I don’t know, maybe for parents to boast, haha.
Two; I’m a bit relieved, because I don’t have to deal with all the strict formal-clothing dress code, and if I did get into one before, I don’t think my family would be able to afford the entrance fees asap or provide me with the money to buy all those necessary things that I have in a short amount of time, since the entrance date is hella early, and that’ll leave them more worry over happiness. I also don’t have to deal with any of my family members complaining that they have to send me across the country just for university, haha. The courses offered at public universities are very limited and most of them don’t interest me. I applied for English-related courses, and most of them have interviews that I wasn’t called for anyway. It’s more like, my heart is not on public universities, haha.
But then comes the part where my family is kinda scared of: People asking, “Where’s she furthering her studies now?”. God, I dread this question, but I tell myself that if anyone were to ask this, it’s because they’re curious and just wants to start a conversation.
It can’t be helped, you see. I want to say that I’m lost and I don’t know what to do with my future now to simplify everything, but then again, nope, that’s not the answer that I’m gonna give because it’s not like it’s 100% true.
I’ve looked over some private universities that I’m interested in, and I found a few. The fees are pretty high, but that’s actually pretty standard nowadays. I can apply for a student loan later, too. I asked (more like reading on Twitter) about how the students at these private unis react to studying at where they’re at, and they’re mostly positive about it. So I made my mind; I want to study here. At a private university. Since I (intentionally)
dodged missed the June intake, my admission might be on Sept/Oct this year. And that’s many months of “Where are you furthering your studies now?” to answer.
I’m feeling a bit meh today so I’m sorry for the disorganized state I’m typing this all out, but anyway, I honestly think that life is okay for now. My manager at work before has agreed for me to work from home (yeas, subtitling from home and still getting paid) and I’ve signed the contract earlier. I’ve yet to receive any kind of tasks and that scares me, but anyway, in the meantime, I have three to four months of binge-ing on anime, games and manga to do, and also language learning! I feel really productive these past few days, and that’s why I say, I’m quite happy with things now. I have time to spend, money to earn, and the comfort of being at home. Alhamdulillah, I think I’m actually pretty lucky and I should be grateful for that. That’s why, if I could, I don’t want to complain much about anything. If there’s some problems I encounter, of course it’s mostly because of me and I have to fix it. No point getting mad over it, I guess.
I know my future is still uncertain, but as my (favourite) supervisor told me, what’s going to happen will happen anyways. Either you sit there and wait, or do something about it or before it arrives. Life is a journey and while it’s full of twists and turns, I think we should also find the time to enjoy every second of it, don’t you think? ^_^
I was hella busy with my job before, but now that I got more times on my hands, I figured that I need to get back into the swing of things. With a new laptop and a new phone (yay), I think I can study more efficiently now? I may be the type to get distracted easily but that only happens when I’m not focused. When I’m really focused though, I stay away from everything else and could literally sit for one or two hours full of concentration, doing whatever it is I need to do. My problem is… to start, haha.
Anyway, on to updates for my language-learning!
As I see it, I’ve made quite a leap on Korean learning over the past few years, but as busy as I am, I can’t count these past few years as ‘the years I spent on studying’. More like, I started years ago, but the progress weren’t even close to years of studying. But still, I did make progress after all and that actually makes me happy. My Japanese is still far from the level I’m at on Korean now, but I enjoy learning them side-by-side since I relate them sometimes. When I want to remember something in Japanese, I relate them to the similar meaning of the word in Korean. I don’t know if it’s good or not, but it really helps me.
I did some reviews on these two languages this week and… haha, okay. Sometimes I think I’m hella far from whatever goal I set, but here goes what I concluded over my studies:
- I lack a lot in vocab. In both languages. What’s more, I left my WaniKani to pile up on all those kanji reviews and left Memrise reviews even. ;;; I love grammar, but with my lack of vocab, I’m still always stuck with what the meaning of a simple sentence is.
- I also am the weakest when it comes to the listening. You see, I don’t like listening to podcasts and learning with youtube videos. It just doesn’t work with me. So when I encountered something that I actually can understand, I didn’t. Because I either am not used to how quick the native speaker speaks, or because I just basically don’t know how a particular word sounds, I don’t know. So yeah, I started downloading some listening apps on my phone to improve this. I also did some ‘shadowing’ on them, yay.
- I need to find some reading materials for both languages. I do have some links, but if there’s anything you guys like to recommend, please feel free to do so. Now I just gotta tough it up and just start reading stuff, you know. I’ve been avoiding reading materials since I get bummed out when I can’t understand them, haha.
- I need to have a guideline to study, and not just study aimlessly. I did made some lists of words I actually need to know in games or manhwa & manga, but those didn’t work out. So I’m just gonna make TOPIK and JLPT as guidelines for me. I plan to take them but probably not this year, but I think they’ll be useful for me to know how far I’ve gotten in learning.
- Do not try to translate an English sentence to both languages at the same time. At least, not at the beginning stages like this. I did this today and it backfired so much, I jumbled up everything in my head. Like, really. I used the Japanese word on Korean, and vice versa. It’s silly. I’m silly, lol.
And… yeah, those are what I thought of. Those are mostly negative, but I figured that once I pointed them out, I’ll know where to start off and where to work those out, etc. I’m still hella anxious of talking to people either on HelloTalk or Lang-8, so I’m laying them off for now. I try to do some diary-thingy, but again, my lack of vocab puts me in a bad spot. :c
As for the positive things, I guess I can jump back into practice quite quickly after I did my reviews? I know I forget them after some time, but remembering them doesn’t take too long. Hmm, and I’m not sure of other things. But oh, I remember vocab for Korean better than Japanese. I just forgot how a kanji sounds, but for the meaning, I usually get them down. And haha, well, I love grammar. I don’t think I have many good points in language-learning. I pretty much dive into them and get happy when I understand a sentence/can translate them. Like an idiot, you’d say. #welp
Anyway, I guess that’s all for now. I’m busy with my projects, of course, but I feel like I’m not really stressed out or chasing deadlines to get things done (at least, not until I get my work task yet,) but I guess things are well for now. I know things might not always be like this, so I guess I need to appreciate it. Hopefully this will give me the strength to face any more challenges in the future, haha.
Thank you so much for reading, and good luck with whatever you guys are working on. Keep at it and you’ll get there, for sure! See you in the next post, byeom~