Hello, everyone! I’m sure you’ve been seeing a lot of my posts these past few days, haha. This just shows how much I’ve always wanted to just blog about everything, but time constraints and whatnot. But now I have the time so… why the hell not post my thoughts and rants? Haha.
This is a little throwback from me, to end this year well. Hopefully it’ll bring all of the bad memories along with it, hehe. Ah, right, gotta tell you that this is a very long post, so… enjoy! x3
I still remembered the first day I came to work. I was pretty much rushing because I was hella nervous, and I didn’t want to be late on my first day. I have my best friend, Saii with me as she just started on the same day as I do, but she looked really calm and just, you know, ready for anything. And here I am, fidgeting, hands sweating and heart thumping because I just cannot calm down as we made our way to my workplace; a book store.
It went a bit too fast after that and then I was assigned for my first task, officially on my first job. I work at the back office, while my friend works at the book store itself as the promoter/shopkeeper, well kinda. If you’re wondering which book store we work on, you could say that… uhm, the logo is red and it has three letters. Yes, guess that. Mwahaha.
Anyway, now that I think about it, it was a pretty fine job. But it was hella exhausting. I did price-tagging, typing data entries and everything. I had to carry books and boxes and my back hurts so much ah ;;;; I made lots of mistakes on my first day, and then I got over it okay and the next days after I was fine. But I can’t imagine how someone could held on for so long because the moment I went back home on my first day, I literally cried so much it was hard to speak haha and I has considered quitting since day one. Tsk tsk.
I met some nice people at my workplace, but it took me a long while to open up because I’m originally an introvert. I’m not shy at all, I just… well, don’t have the energy to strike up conversations. So unless a person actually come up to me and ask me stuff, I basically won’t answer nor actually speak up. Sometimes I think it’s hard being me, haha. A few seniors are hella nice to me while others are scary so I tried to not go into their space too much. It’s scary. And while I was working, doing my own thing and everything, I don’t actually talk much. The office has a few people, less than 10, working in it but we don’t have any dividers so you can pretty much say we can see each other from where we work (and given that I don’t have my own desk or table to work on…) so it’s kinda suffocating. It’s mostly quiet and I’m only hyper when Saii came to the back office to talk to me or pick her things for her department and stuff. She’s really nice though I love her so much and I just cannot live without her there, you see. T__T Also, I’m the youngest there hahaha. So yeah, it’s scary.
It was more like, my heart is not ready to go into that working world just yet. Seriously. Haha.
I also am tired of waking up early, rushing in the morning, only to go home late at noon. It’s tiring and I have to walk quite far to and fro the bus stop, and once I arrive, I stll have to walk since the bookstore is very far from the shopping mall (where the bookstore was in) entrance.
And after I knew I couldn’t take it, I submitted a resignation letter and put on a notice (to the people in charge) that I’ll be quitting in 7-days. I don’t have much attachments with anyone except for five or six people at most, so I was quiet about my quitting most of the time haha.
The last Saturday I worked, the back office was empty and there was pretty much no job for me there. And this is where the ‘fun’ begins. I had to work at shopkeeping that day, from morning till evening. Whoa. Now that, is a new experience for me. Saii was not in that day because she has her rest day.
Anyway, oh my god. I cannot believe. I used to be approached by a customer before that Saturday but I screwed up because I don’t know where a book section is, so I couldn’t help that person so I was feeling guilty. So on that Saturday, I decided that I’ll do my best, even if I have anxiety issues and I’m scared of people…. I decided to do it. I made my few rounds, trying to remember where things are. And I still made mistakes, I still am confused with the sections and shelves and racks, but a few people I helped, although I don’t see their happiness when I found what they’re looking for, I do feel happy when I got to help them, hearing a simple ‘thank you’, I don’t know, but the feeling was hella nice. It makes me happy. Really happy. But my head hurts by the end of the day and well, that kind of job was just not me.
And on the 28th December, my last day of work, well, I guess I got used to everything and was ready to end the job on a good note. I worked both on the shopkeeping and back office on that day, and I was satisfied. I mean, I did my best… although I kept looking at the time, haha. I filled up some forms and then when the clock showed 6:30 p.m., it was time to say goodbye. I hugged my seniors, my friends, Saii and then went on my way. The moment I stepped out of the shopping mall to go home, I felt this kind of freedom like I’ve never been before. I could see the sky from where I stepped out and it really felt like I could fly, my chains breaking and my wings spreading. Like I could take off, and that was it. That sense of freedom that I’ve been wanting for; finally, it’s here. And then I went home; believing that now was the time to fly as high as I want to.
And a song rang in my head: Taeyeon’s I. You should totally listen to the song, below!
Can you feel the freedom?
I’ve listed many things to do during these three months before my national exams’ results come out, so better make the most of it, ayy? 😉
Also, have I told you that I always went for a break alone almost every day when I was working? Eating alone, staring into space. Sighs, lonely Nadia is lonely. Haha.
Sorry if I sound like ranting, but I gotta say, my experience wasn’t as pleasant as I thought it would be. But still, I never regret any decision I’ve made because, I’m stronger with every obstacles I bump into, and I’m braver when I decide things for myself without caring about what others think. Whatever I’ll face, or the after-effects of my actions, that’ll all be on me, and I’ll take them all in with courage. I’ll face them head on. And the job was fun, and it was all good. It’s all just on me, not the job itself.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change how you feel/think about it!”. This was a quote my favourite aunt used to put on her facebook, and I remember it to this day. It’s meaningful to me, you see. Also, my aunt has influenced me a lot, haha.
Sorry if this post turned into another rant post, but I hope that with this being typed out here, my worries will go away and I will be calmer. Like, you know, my thoughts are out here so I don’t have to keep it in anymore. xD
Thank you so much for reading, and hope you guys are having a great week! See ya on my next post (hopefully) on the 1st of 2016, hehe. Byeom~