My First Job, officially.

Hello, hello.

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It’s been a while and I miss everything and all of you! School’s over already and wow I just cannot believe how free I felt when the thought of “I have officially finished high school” sank really deep into my head and heart and I was like, “oh mY GOD, YES, FINALLY FREE!!!”.

Anyway, two days after my last exam paper, I started working. And welp, it was…full of experience, I could say. It was easy yet hard, fulfilling yet empty, and in the end it leaves me feeling torturous inside; it got me depressed all over again, crying every night while I’m talking on the phone with my boyfriend. I seek advices from some close friends and well, most of them told me to hold on. I held on, for as long as I could, but in the end I felt so…. much agony. I think, somehow, the job just doesn’t fit well with my soul. I’m not sure how to explain but it kills me inside.

So I decided to (wo)man up and decided for myself that I wanna quit, because there are some people that understands my situation, thank goodness. I thought, this is not the shit I wanna do for the rest of my days where I could have done better, this is not how I want my life to be, and this is basically not a job that I was expecting to be in. True, I have a nice and easy job at a book store, in the office at that, plus I don’t work with a lot of people (as I’m an extreme introvert and have some anxiety when it comes to meeting people) and I also don’t work shift hours; I work office hours, which means I got in at morning,  got out at noon. That’s why people said that I haven’t been grateful. But blergh, I just can’t do it. Astaghfirullah.

It took a few silence and cold-shoulders for me to deal with the people around me, announcing that I’m quitting, both to family, friends and colleagues. A few conflicts here and there and finally, tomorrow is my last day of work. Allahu. I’m both scared and excited; what if something scary happens when I quit? Will they find out why I quit and hate me? I’m excited to be free from these chains and to finally do the thing I want, the thing my heart has been screaming for ages to do; to follow my passion without time constraints.

I’m a bit scared about how people would look at me once I step out of work tomorrow, but I’m sure the experiences I had and will have, will contribute towards becoming  a better me myself, since I do have some wonderful seniors here and there. I love them, hehe. I love the job, but my soul is just not there… you know? I’m not sure if other people understands, but I do have a friend or two that quit in the past few weeks from their jobs as well, for the same reason: the job just doesn’t ‘click’ well with their souls.

Anyway, good luck to me. Haha. I’ll have some posts queued up for this week, since I have many things to write about. I’ve said this pretty much a thousand times now lol haha.

Also, as for my language learning, since I changed my phone, I think both my Korean and Japanese have improved a bit, but there’s much more progress than before yeay. I started using HelloTalk as well, but I’m just so…. scared, and I barely talk to people hahaha oh my god.

Here goes nothing; for tomorrow. Happy holidays, people, and I hope everyone’s enjoying their break! Have a great week ahead and thank you so much for reading! ❤

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5 thoughts on “My First Job, officially.

    • I miss you toooooo omg ❤
      Wow, really? That's good then, at least you'll get used to it earlier if you start learning again, since you might recognize some things and won't have to like, learn the material from scratch… I think? xD

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