Recently I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions.
“What am I doing with my life?” is basically the first question of all. I’m like stuck in a rut all over again just because, the subject I thought I’ve dropped for good and left with memories, suddenly came back to me and just, gave me sort of an earthquake to my world. Haha, very descriptive. Anyway, I’ve heard that chemistry cannot be dropped as a subject unless I want to drop Physics as well or drop Biology only, which is not an option because I love both of them except for Chemistry. I still haven’t sort out my thoughts about this because I really don’t know what to think. I’m worried about how I would go to classes again, take the exams again, breakdown again… just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I stopped thinking about it for now, yeah, but my best friends told me that I’ve changed 180 degrees from the positive kid I was earlier this year and back into the quiet, laughing-at-little-jokes-because-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-my-life-anymore girl again.
The second question that came up to me was; “What’s stopping me?”
Pushing the chemistry matter away for now, I was thinking why I haven’t started learning Japanese yet. Why haven’t I even continue on my Korean grammar?! Yesss, what happened to the last post that had my study timetable on it? It’s just there on my desk lol it’s making me miserable. But yeah I’m questioning myself right now.
What the hell is stopping me? Homework? Well they could be done when I want them to. Time? Well I have to control myself to not let the time slip, and not let the time control me. Resources? I have everything piling up in my resources file. Motivation? Oh my god, you don’t know how motivated and frustrated I am when I see new otome games coming out and just cannot read anything, anything at all from the title. Urghh. Support? Well that’s a bit… far.
Anyway, what I have concluded from my own thoughts as of now is that we ain’t got excuses for shit. Like, just go! Do it! Water you waiting forrrr??//? We have a phrase in Malay that says ‘Tiada Alasan!’ which literally means ‘No Excuses!’ and yeah, I really need to put up that thing on my wall to remind myself. Haha.
Also, I got interested into some youtubers that are really inspirational and funny and omg. Seeing them makes me want to make a video myself, but that’s not an option right now haha.
Too busy to promote later anyway. I love it when I have new stuff to fangirl on and be interested in. I change my interest all the time, haha. I’m sure you guys know about danisnotonfire, amazingphil, JacksGap and some others. I find them very inspirational and gives me hope, like really. I don’t know how but they just did. Recommend me some channels if you’d like! ^^
Also, inspired from them, I decided to make this blog more lively with lots of posts. I’m sorry if it’s not related to Korean for some but since this is a study blog now, and it’s my own blog I can do whatever I want huhuhu I just hope every one of you enjoys my posts, one way or another. I wrote down some topics I’d like to talk on later which includes journalling, overcoming depression (yes let’s do this together!), some stuff that I really wanna share and all. I don’t know, but I’m too lazy to make another blog just for this. I love wordpress better than blogspot (whoops~) so yeah.
Thanks for reading this hella long useless post and I hope you enjoyed what I wrote thus far! Also please click here if you can. It’s an ad. Well you know, money stuff. I don’t want to sound like I’m desperate but I really need money for a lot of things. That ad is not dangerous whatsoever because it’s a heartwarming video of a mother’s love towards her child and vice-versa.
I hope all of you are gonna have a great week and a great month of April coming ahead, so good luck and hwaiting!!! See ya in the next post, byeom~